YOU Attract WHO you ARE?

What up LAdies and Gents? Once again I have had the opportunity to ponder on somethings that deal with relations between the opposite sex. I always have women coming up to me and asking me why do they always attract men that are so called dogs? Most of the time they don't enjoy my response, because I have to tell it like it is. I always respond by telling them it is something inside of you that is saying bitch to the dogs that you attract. Now before we pull my christian card away from me. Let's all be grown and understand that the definition of bitch is a female dog. And some of you curse everyday except those four hours you go to church. LOL But anyway. God created the earth that men would be attracted to women, and vice verse. He created two of every species that they might be attracted to one another and create more of the species. A bull is going to be attracted to a cow, a goat is going to attracted to a sheep, a rooster to a hen. This is the way nature works. So if you are attracting all dogs, then what does that say about you! It is important that when we are sending out signs, that we are sending it to the right species. It says in the word how can two come together unless they agree. What is it about your personality that is agreeing with these men that are dogging you out. I have to tell you that a real man wants a real women, and he is going to go after a women. A dog doesn't go after women it is against his nature, he goes after the species that he is most attracted to. But I think you get the point! Let us all reevalute the things that we find important in a mate, and trust me what you value the most will come up in the person that you are with. If you don't value the things of God, than ladies the person you chose won't either. So get it right or carry a lot of Kibbles and BIts at your house. May GOd Get the Glory in our LIVes. And till next time WOOF WOOF!

Everything A Big Brother Should Tell His Sister About Men part 1

• Grace and Peace Family! I writing this note because I feel that one of the things women are lacking in their lives, besides a father, is a Big Brother. A Big Brother is a man who assumes the role of an older brother, as by providing guidance or protection. That's what a lot of women are lacking in their lives,is a brother that is willing to be her personal body guard. So i decided to help you ladies out, by giving you some advice that I have shared with my own sister, cousins, friends, etc about men. Because the best advice and counsel you can get about men is from a Man. So here goes nothing, It is my prayer that you get something out of this note. Alot of it will be entertaining but everything I mention in this note I either have done myself or seen it done, so trust me its all real!!!! We keeps it real in my NOTES!!!

Cheating: Alot of women ask me all the time about Why do Men cheat? How do you know if he is Cheating? What are the signs that my man is cheating? Let me first tell you this Ladies, DISCLAIMER: IF YOU DON'T TRUST YOUR MAN, AND YOU THINK HE IS CHEATING, RIGHT AFTER YOU DONE READING THIS NOTE, CALL HIM AND BREAKUP WITH HIM! One sure way to get your man to cheat, that is if he is not Cheating already, is to nag him about if he is cheating on you everyday. Whether he is cheating or not Men hate having to explain themselves all the time, about the same situation. I have heard on numerous occasions men say "Man she questions me about cheating so much i might as well cheat!" Constant nagging, fighting and squabbling in the right ratios is the best recipe for a headache. Cheating with another woman is a common escape from this domestic hell, and works better than aspirin. Now the big reason a man cheats is just because! LOL! It's an uncontested fact that most men can't say "no" to sex. Although guys aren't constantly bombarded with sexual offers, sometimes an irresistible prospect presents itself and alot of men just don't have the will power to say NO! It's nothing personal, its nothing u did wrong, in his mind he doesn't love you less, it was just there and he took it! ANother reason men cheat, now some of you might get mad on this one, but this my NOTE!Women let us,women are quick to forgive men for their unfaithful behavior. Maybe it's their fear of being alone, or that women are simply the more merciful ones of the human species. Some women might even blame themselves for their men's infidelities, and take steps to improve their relationships. The fact that many women let their men get away with murder might compel them to double deal repeatedly. I'm a Christian, so i'm all for forgiveness, but some of you women forgive your man without making him earn his way back into your good graces, and when you let your man back' the relationship shouldn't start from were it left, I mean it should start from ground zero, Let him call you and ask you on dates like he use to, make him court you again. A man that is serious about getting his woman back will do anything he has too, to get her back. So make that dude work for your affection again. A couple of i'm sorry and some flowers, and making you think about the times he was good, then you women buckle up, and now you back on the same train to Cheatsville!!! A MAN Doesn't respect anything he didn't have to Work for or EARn!  General Information: Ok Sisters, so you supposely found that one, you think you have found your Boaz. So what do you do you let him meet your girlfriends, so they can check him out, and give their opinion and approval of your Boaz. Wrong move sisters! LOL If this dude can fool you, then what makes you think he can't fool your girl friends. If you really want to know if this is a dude you need to mess with you need to take him around your guy friends, you need to take him around RAY Ray and Junebug your cousins, these are guys that can tell you the real deal about your man. Cause a wolf can spot another wolf! How your guy is with you is totally different than how he will be with other guys. Ladies when men get around each other we revert back to being little kids again. We start talking about what we use to do, who we use to do, where we use to do it, how we use to do it, what we have, what we had. Your guy friends can get more information on your guy in a hour, then you would be able to get in a year! And when we tell you that your dude is bogus, Ladies PLEAse believe that DUDE IS Bogus! LOL Now when dating your potential boo, it is important to establish the ground rules early, let the dude know upfront what you are looking for and what you can do without. Now that doesn't mean pull out a TLC Chili Check LIST, but let your potential mate know what you expect from him. While this doesn't mean that you should be rude or inconsiderate to your sweetie, it does mean that you should stand firm about things you believe in.  Don't cave in to every whim for the sake of keeping your man around.  In the end, it doesn't usually work anyway.  Stand firm in your beliefs, and you'll maintain not only your integrity, but a healthy relationship. A man is only going to respect you if you respect yourself, Respect yourself Ladies, dont compromise who you are for anyone, let alone a dude!  HAVE A LIFE! - Make sure that you've got something going on the side. No, not someone -something.  Activities, friends, and hobbies are all important in keeping you sane.  It's fine to do things together. But no one can stand to be around someone 24 hours a day without there being tension from time to time.  The phrase "absence makes the heart grow fonder" has a huge ring of truth. Don't give up your total identity for a dude, be you, a good man wants you to be a well rounded individual that can help enhance his life, not cling on to his life. Now LAdies please know when a man asks  HOW WAS YOUR DAY?" doesn't mean "How was your day?" This is where a sentence will do just fine! As insensitive as it sounds, when men ask this question, they typically do not want a play-by-play of your entire day. Quite frankly, it's boring. And unless you have something specific you want to discuss with him, he really doesn't care about everything u did from the time u woke up until the time you standing in his face! LOL  A young lady through my inbox says that she was having concerns about her man, that sometimes he goes quiet and doesn't want to talk. She askes him what is wrong and he says nothing is wrong. What's up with that? "NOTHING'S WRONG" means, nothing is wrong. - Sometimes that quiet  man is simply having a quiet moment to himself.  Women are the ones who ordinarily like to discuss and plan the details of almost everything.  But men are more hands on. When they are quiet, it doesn't necessarily mean that something is wrong - only that they are thinking. Now there will be something wrong if you continue to ask him what is wrong! LOL! Please just tell us what you want! I'm  be the first to admit that we don't do hints to well Ladies, Ask for what you want. Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! You want to talk your man ear off about your day, but you want him to guess about what you want??? And the thing is we know what is up sometimes with you, but we want you to come out and say it. We know that there really is something wrong when we ask you what is wrong, and you say nothing!!! But we not going to rush into a argument with you! LOL So when u say nothing is wrong then we like cool i get to dodge this bullett today! LOL That's it for today.
Stay Tune for the NeXt note,where i answer some inbox question, Why MEn LIE? Why some men like Public display of Affection and some don't, And why is it hard for men to forgive?

Everything a Big Brother Should Tell His Sister About Men part 2

 Grace and Peace Fam. Once again I come before you Ladies to answer all your questions about men and relationships from a male perspective. It is important that we as men and women get back to what God meant us to be to each other. God saw the need for man to have a companion.In Genesis 2:18 it says "And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him." Help meet basically means a suitable helper, not a play thing, not a underling, but someone to work with Adam to take dominion over the Earth with. But ever since Adam and Eve both ate of the tree, there has been a major disconnect between man and woman, that we are still struggling to get back too. Adam and Eve were created to be on one accord with each other spiritually, mentally, and physically. In the Bible it says, " And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. Adam realize when Eve was first presented to him by God, that this is a wonderful thing God has created, because she came from me, she is of my bone, she is of my flesh, she is me! I have to love her, I have to treat her right because she is me. And what we fail to realize as men, that when we hurt and abuse our women, we are really hurting and abusing ourselves. What's the lesson here Ladies, if your man doesn't love himself, then he will never have the ability to love you the way you need to be loved. He shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, meaning he has to leave the childhood games alone. He has to grow up and be a man, and take on the responsibilites of a man. That's why Ladies you shouldn't attach yourself to someone that doesn't have a man mindset, you still messing around with a grown child. This is the most important part of the scripture and this is were the disconnect happens. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. Now alot of people just focus on Adam and Eve being naked physically, but we have to look deeper than that. Not only were Adam and Eve naked physically in front of each other, but they also were naked mentally, spiritually, emotionally with each other. They were not ashamed before they ate off the tree to be real with one another because they were one, they were on the same page with one another. They had nothing to hide, no hidden agendas, no secrets. They stood before each other nake and were not ashamed. Alot of us are scared to be nake with our spouses, and significant others. We as men are scared ladies and quite frankly alot of us don't know how to be naked in front of you. So my motive is to bridge the gap between the two sexes, its time for us to be nake with one another again. So now that Bible study is over, lets get to some of the questions! LOL



WHY do MEN Lie?: I hear women complain about men lying all the time. "Girl, he lies so much about everything?" Now let me begin by saying this, not all men lie, that is a stereotype. Nowadays some men are too truthful and blunt if you ask me. But alot of men do lie, and trust me its just not to women, I believe men actually started lying as shorties on the playground, lying about what they momma got them for christmas or what they did over the summer break. Some men are so accustomed to lying to other men that it just seems natural for them to lie to women, too. They just traded "Yea i use to be Quarterback of my highschool team", to "Yea I'm Single, we at least right now I am!" LOL Men lie to other men all the time, about how many women they been with, what cars they have, how much money they make. There seems to be some unwritten rule that "I won't call you on yours, if you don't call me on mine."  Some men feel it adds something to their swag  if they can put something over on someone. With women, it's part of the "chase," the "challenge" ("I told her she was the only woman i ever love, and she believed me) It's useless to hold this against them, or try to make them stop. Many just can't. Men don't seem to think it's a lie if it's for a good cause: like to avoid hurting someone's feelings (especially their own), or to get sex (they believe they're entitled too), or to get out of sex. Men will lie to sleep with you point blank, I know a dude who would read the word, just because the woman he was trying to sleep with loved men who knew the word!! And if you ask your boyfriend or husband if he is cheating on you, and he actually wants to keep you, do you really think he is going to tell you the truth. That's why its important ladies not to pay attention to what a man says to you. A man with any sense is going to tell you what u want to hear to get with you. But you have to pay attention to what the dude does. "Actions speak louder than words," and they also speak more honestly. When you first meet a man, he'll show you his best side, describe his accomplishments (sometimes borrowed from others), and shower you with attention, or even gifts. This slowly fades the longer you know him, and sooner or later he'll show you the bad and the ugly side. This is the time when you'll make the decision whether to go on or not. With some men, it will take a year, with others, a few months will do it. That's why it's important to take it slow with a guy and get to know him before you invest too much of your emotions into him. Don't just watch how he is with you. Watch how he is with his friends, his family, watch to see if what he is doing is lining up with what he is saying. Women i swear yall the best private investigators, but you wait to you already with the dude or does something off to investigate. Investiage EARLY!


Long Distance Relationships: So ladies you and your boo is going away to college, or just got relocate to another state, so now u at that crossroads, should we breakup or should we try to make it work. Disclaimer: Don't even think about going through with a long-distance relationship unless you are both extremely devoted to one another, and willing to make sacrifices for the relationship. If this doesn't sound like you, then you should cut your losses now, and avoid a potentially heart-wrenching situation in the future. IF YOU DON'T TRUST YOUR MAN IN-STATE, PLEASE BELIEVE YOU REALLY AINT GOING TO TRUST HIM OUT-OF-STATE! Now if you trust your man, and you willing to try to make it work, then here are some steps you should think about following: ask the important questions at the beginning, to make sure you are both clear on the rules of the relationship. Setting rules  such as naming your relationship (dating, seeing each other, boyfriend-girlfriend, engaged) as well as defining exclusive (limited to one person,) or non-exclusive. These can be difficult and awkward questions to ask, but will save you great heartache and misunderstanding down the line. Example: "Are you open to the possibility of relocating if the relationship should become more serious?" or "What are you looking to get out of the relationship?" Stating your end goal or ideas will allow each person to maintain what they need. This is not the time to be uncertain what your status is with your man or potential man. And you definitely don't want to wait. Make time for each other:  It is important to set aside time every day to phone or e-mail each other, without any distractions. Tell each other details about your day, your friends, co-workers, etc., so that you both feel a part of the other person's life; this seemingly small step will go a long way in reducing the distance between the two of you. One advantage of having a long distance relationship it forces you to communicate with one another, use these opportunity to find out new things about each other, learn the likes, dislikes, establish and maintain a emotional connection with each other. And now with the invention of Skype and webcam, it makes at least seeing each other more easier. Take advantage of the benefits a long distance relationship offers: more time with friends and/or family, the pleasure of seeing your boo again after a long absence, time to mull your options (rather than snapping at your partner impulsively) before you respond to that email he wrote that seemed so OC  the first time you read it, etc. Most important, being far apart gives you a chance to maintain your individuality—something that can get lost in the shuffle when couples spend all their free time together.Avoid jealousy and be trusting. One of the easiest ways to destroy a long distance relationship is to kill it with jealousy and drama. When you start a long distance relationship, you must be realistic of the difficulties ahead. It always helps if you go in a relationship with the idea that everyone is innocent and worthy of trust until proven otherwise. Don't fall in the trap of interrogating your partner every time he decides to go out with people you haven't met or he didn't get back to you right away when you called and left a message. Just because you are in a long-distance relationship doesn't mean your lives will pause. Your partner will naturally have a social life where he lives and so should you. Sure, it helps to have your eyes open and not be totally naive, but being overly suspicious is unhealthy for you and your relationship too. You should both maintain your social activity and be happy with yourselves. I'm telling you now ladies one sure fire way to end your relationship is to call and text your man all night, one voicemail and maybe a text will do, dont call your man all day cause he didn't get back to you right away. Now if it has been a week and he hasn't gotten back to you, then you might as well start hitting them singles events at New Life Covenant again, because the relationship is over! LOL But, you have to realize to ladies that if your man isn't coming back anytime soon or not at all, you have to make a decision, whether your going to move out to where he is, or end the relationship. Because you can't be long distance forever, so this is a question you should always have in the back of your mind. Public Displays of Affection: I'm not a big fan of the PDA! So i might have a little bit of a bias when it comes to this subject. But just because your man doesn't want to be publicly affectionate with you, doesn't mean he is ashamed of you, or that something is wrong. It means that he is not comfortable with making out with you in front of people. Me personally i think its kind of rude to do so in front of people, but to each their own. Now if he doesn't want to be affectionate in private, then you might want to be concerned about that, Unless he has spiritual convictions, and has vowed to abstain from physical activity until he is married.

Inbox Questions:
Why is it hard for a man to forgive? Nobody is perfect, if the person is willing to show that thet are a different better person, why not step out on faith???





This is not a man issue this is a human being issue. It is hard for human beings to forgive because when they have been hurt by another person our pride or self-esteem is injured. And with a man especially are pride and ego are everything to us, We tell ourselves, “I won’t forgive because she never accepts responsibility for what she does” or  “I would be a hypocrite if I forgave because I do not feel like forgiving” or  “Forgiving is only for weak people”. Men don't let their guard down alot, so when we do feel comfortable enough to share that sensitive side, (trust me ladies all men have one), with you and you betray our trust, then its crushing to us. And men don't really have alot of healthy support systems like women. At least women can go and cry on their friends share, and get the pain out in a healthy stable way. Men sometimes aren't as lucky, we really can't cry or breakdown to other men, because we don't want to be look at as weak. And most men are just going to tell you to forget that Chick, "women are like buses, a new one comes every 15 min"! And i wouldn't call that great advice would you.  So the best thing for you to do as a woman, is  not just say your sorry, because men aren't women, words don't mean much to us. Men judge woman by what you do for us, or what you don't do for us. So show your man that your sorry, and if he doesn't forgive you then you did the best you could move on.



WHAT HAPPENS WHEN DUDES GET STUCK IN THE COMMITMENT ISSUE. I UNDERSTAND THE GUY HAS ISSUE WITH HIS EX (THAT HE WAS WITH FOR 3 1/2 YRS), BUT I DONT THINK I SHOULD HAVE TO PAY FOR THEM. ITS LIKE WE DO EVERYTHING BOYFRIENDS & GIRLFRIENDS DUE BUT WE DONT HAVE THE TITLE. BUT I TALK TO HIM OVER 3 HOURS EVERYDAY FOR THE LAST 4 MONTHS YET HE SAYS HE DOESN'T WANT TO MAKE ME HIS GF/WOMEN UNTIL HE DONE WITH SCHOOL BECAUSE HE LEARNED HIS LEASON OF TRYING TO BALANCE A GIRLFRIEND WHILE IN SCHOOL AND HE WASN'T ABLE TO PROVIDE ENOUGH ATTENTION TO HER?  

Committing to a woman is serious business to a man it's a decision that shouldn't be taken lightly. It seems to me that this guy got burned before from his last girl, so he is having a hard time trusting any woman at this point in his life. When a man has been through hell with a woman, that's all we see with any woman sometimes, its the same process when a man dogs a woman out, women go through that all men are dogs spell. But when you been with anyone for that long period of time, then you shouldn't rush to get with anyone. You should take the time to clean out the baggage that was left over from the previous relationship. This guy is being surprisingly honest with you, by telling you that he doesn't want to be in a commitment with you, and it seems to me that your trying to force the issue to the point were now he is trying to let you down easy without hurting your feelings. I don't want to make you my girl until after school basically means in a more blunt gut wrenching way "Leave me the hell alone, I don't want you!" ANd if you are already doing what a girlfriend does without him officially naming u his girl, then why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free ya dig! I suggest you leave dude alone, while he still kind of respects you!


WHAT HAPPENS/ WHAT DOES IT MEAN WHEN DUDES START TO CHANGE. WHEN DUDES TRY TO GET THE GIRL THEY GO THROUGH THE FULL WORKS AND THE EXTREME. BUT IT SEEMS LIKE ONCE THEY THINK THEY GOT YOU THEY STOP THE LETTERS, THE FLOWERS , THE ADDITIONAL CAKING ? THE ONLY THING I KNOW THAT WORKS IS TO FALL BACK TO WAIT FOR THEM TO STEP IT UP???? OR SHOULD I BRING IT UP AND LET THEM KNOW YOU SLACKING ON THE JOB???

Dude hasn't change he is just settling into his natural self now, the honeymoon is over! LOL j/k  MEn are going to go all out, when they are trying to get with you, they are going to send you the flowers, buy you the candy, write you the poems. But now that he feels he has you were he wants you then he is no longer in chase mode, now he is in i got you mode. And it doesn't mean that he loves you less, it just means that you have to remind him that he is slacking a little. Communication is the key in all relationships. If you Fall back and wait , then you will be waiting until when is the next major holiday? LOL But when he does do something nice for you stroke his ego a little bit, act extra excited, men love to feel like what they are doing is appreciated. Even if he opens up a pickle jar for you, say "Thank you baby, o your so strong, i just love my strong man" Dudes eat that up, so he will be rushing to the kitchen to open up that jar next time! Men are ego driven, and we love doing things we feel we good at. But once we feel its not appreciated, then you will slowly see it come to a end!

That's all the question for today folks, I swear yall women are keeping me busy! LOL I like it though! I still have a few questions left but i might just answer those through my statuses! We'll see! I hope this is a blessing to somebody, and feel free to leave your comments, and if you disagree definitely leave a comment, i love hearing other people's point of view.