Everything a Big Brother Should Tell His Sister About Men part 2

 Grace and Peace Fam. Once again I come before you Ladies to answer all your questions about men and relationships from a male perspective. It is important that we as men and women get back to what God meant us to be to each other. God saw the need for man to have a companion.In Genesis 2:18 it says "And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him." Help meet basically means a suitable helper, not a play thing, not a underling, but someone to work with Adam to take dominion over the Earth with. But ever since Adam and Eve both ate of the tree, there has been a major disconnect between man and woman, that we are still struggling to get back too. Adam and Eve were created to be on one accord with each other spiritually, mentally, and physically. In the Bible it says, " And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. Adam realize when Eve was first presented to him by God, that this is a wonderful thing God has created, because she came from me, she is of my bone, she is of my flesh, she is me! I have to love her, I have to treat her right because she is me. And what we fail to realize as men, that when we hurt and abuse our women, we are really hurting and abusing ourselves. What's the lesson here Ladies, if your man doesn't love himself, then he will never have the ability to love you the way you need to be loved. He shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, meaning he has to leave the childhood games alone. He has to grow up and be a man, and take on the responsibilites of a man. That's why Ladies you shouldn't attach yourself to someone that doesn't have a man mindset, you still messing around with a grown child. This is the most important part of the scripture and this is were the disconnect happens. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. Now alot of people just focus on Adam and Eve being naked physically, but we have to look deeper than that. Not only were Adam and Eve naked physically in front of each other, but they also were naked mentally, spiritually, emotionally with each other. They were not ashamed before they ate off the tree to be real with one another because they were one, they were on the same page with one another. They had nothing to hide, no hidden agendas, no secrets. They stood before each other nake and were not ashamed. Alot of us are scared to be nake with our spouses, and significant others. We as men are scared ladies and quite frankly alot of us don't know how to be naked in front of you. So my motive is to bridge the gap between the two sexes, its time for us to be nake with one another again. So now that Bible study is over, lets get to some of the questions! LOL



WHY do MEN Lie?: I hear women complain about men lying all the time. "Girl, he lies so much about everything?" Now let me begin by saying this, not all men lie, that is a stereotype. Nowadays some men are too truthful and blunt if you ask me. But alot of men do lie, and trust me its just not to women, I believe men actually started lying as shorties on the playground, lying about what they momma got them for christmas or what they did over the summer break. Some men are so accustomed to lying to other men that it just seems natural for them to lie to women, too. They just traded "Yea i use to be Quarterback of my highschool team", to "Yea I'm Single, we at least right now I am!" LOL Men lie to other men all the time, about how many women they been with, what cars they have, how much money they make. There seems to be some unwritten rule that "I won't call you on yours, if you don't call me on mine."  Some men feel it adds something to their swag  if they can put something over on someone. With women, it's part of the "chase," the "challenge" ("I told her she was the only woman i ever love, and she believed me) It's useless to hold this against them, or try to make them stop. Many just can't. Men don't seem to think it's a lie if it's for a good cause: like to avoid hurting someone's feelings (especially their own), or to get sex (they believe they're entitled too), or to get out of sex. Men will lie to sleep with you point blank, I know a dude who would read the word, just because the woman he was trying to sleep with loved men who knew the word!! And if you ask your boyfriend or husband if he is cheating on you, and he actually wants to keep you, do you really think he is going to tell you the truth. That's why its important ladies not to pay attention to what a man says to you. A man with any sense is going to tell you what u want to hear to get with you. But you have to pay attention to what the dude does. "Actions speak louder than words," and they also speak more honestly. When you first meet a man, he'll show you his best side, describe his accomplishments (sometimes borrowed from others), and shower you with attention, or even gifts. This slowly fades the longer you know him, and sooner or later he'll show you the bad and the ugly side. This is the time when you'll make the decision whether to go on or not. With some men, it will take a year, with others, a few months will do it. That's why it's important to take it slow with a guy and get to know him before you invest too much of your emotions into him. Don't just watch how he is with you. Watch how he is with his friends, his family, watch to see if what he is doing is lining up with what he is saying. Women i swear yall the best private investigators, but you wait to you already with the dude or does something off to investigate. Investiage EARLY!


Long Distance Relationships: So ladies you and your boo is going away to college, or just got relocate to another state, so now u at that crossroads, should we breakup or should we try to make it work. Disclaimer: Don't even think about going through with a long-distance relationship unless you are both extremely devoted to one another, and willing to make sacrifices for the relationship. If this doesn't sound like you, then you should cut your losses now, and avoid a potentially heart-wrenching situation in the future. IF YOU DON'T TRUST YOUR MAN IN-STATE, PLEASE BELIEVE YOU REALLY AINT GOING TO TRUST HIM OUT-OF-STATE! Now if you trust your man, and you willing to try to make it work, then here are some steps you should think about following: ask the important questions at the beginning, to make sure you are both clear on the rules of the relationship. Setting rules  such as naming your relationship (dating, seeing each other, boyfriend-girlfriend, engaged) as well as defining exclusive (limited to one person,) or non-exclusive. These can be difficult and awkward questions to ask, but will save you great heartache and misunderstanding down the line. Example: "Are you open to the possibility of relocating if the relationship should become more serious?" or "What are you looking to get out of the relationship?" Stating your end goal or ideas will allow each person to maintain what they need. This is not the time to be uncertain what your status is with your man or potential man. And you definitely don't want to wait. Make time for each other:  It is important to set aside time every day to phone or e-mail each other, without any distractions. Tell each other details about your day, your friends, co-workers, etc., so that you both feel a part of the other person's life; this seemingly small step will go a long way in reducing the distance between the two of you. One advantage of having a long distance relationship it forces you to communicate with one another, use these opportunity to find out new things about each other, learn the likes, dislikes, establish and maintain a emotional connection with each other. And now with the invention of Skype and webcam, it makes at least seeing each other more easier. Take advantage of the benefits a long distance relationship offers: more time with friends and/or family, the pleasure of seeing your boo again after a long absence, time to mull your options (rather than snapping at your partner impulsively) before you respond to that email he wrote that seemed so OC  the first time you read it, etc. Most important, being far apart gives you a chance to maintain your individuality—something that can get lost in the shuffle when couples spend all their free time together.Avoid jealousy and be trusting. One of the easiest ways to destroy a long distance relationship is to kill it with jealousy and drama. When you start a long distance relationship, you must be realistic of the difficulties ahead. It always helps if you go in a relationship with the idea that everyone is innocent and worthy of trust until proven otherwise. Don't fall in the trap of interrogating your partner every time he decides to go out with people you haven't met or he didn't get back to you right away when you called and left a message. Just because you are in a long-distance relationship doesn't mean your lives will pause. Your partner will naturally have a social life where he lives and so should you. Sure, it helps to have your eyes open and not be totally naive, but being overly suspicious is unhealthy for you and your relationship too. You should both maintain your social activity and be happy with yourselves. I'm telling you now ladies one sure fire way to end your relationship is to call and text your man all night, one voicemail and maybe a text will do, dont call your man all day cause he didn't get back to you right away. Now if it has been a week and he hasn't gotten back to you, then you might as well start hitting them singles events at New Life Covenant again, because the relationship is over! LOL But, you have to realize to ladies that if your man isn't coming back anytime soon or not at all, you have to make a decision, whether your going to move out to where he is, or end the relationship. Because you can't be long distance forever, so this is a question you should always have in the back of your mind. Public Displays of Affection: I'm not a big fan of the PDA! So i might have a little bit of a bias when it comes to this subject. But just because your man doesn't want to be publicly affectionate with you, doesn't mean he is ashamed of you, or that something is wrong. It means that he is not comfortable with making out with you in front of people. Me personally i think its kind of rude to do so in front of people, but to each their own. Now if he doesn't want to be affectionate in private, then you might want to be concerned about that, Unless he has spiritual convictions, and has vowed to abstain from physical activity until he is married.

Inbox Questions:
Why is it hard for a man to forgive? Nobody is perfect, if the person is willing to show that thet are a different better person, why not step out on faith???





This is not a man issue this is a human being issue. It is hard for human beings to forgive because when they have been hurt by another person our pride or self-esteem is injured. And with a man especially are pride and ego are everything to us, We tell ourselves, “I won’t forgive because she never accepts responsibility for what she does” or  “I would be a hypocrite if I forgave because I do not feel like forgiving” or  “Forgiving is only for weak people”. Men don't let their guard down alot, so when we do feel comfortable enough to share that sensitive side, (trust me ladies all men have one), with you and you betray our trust, then its crushing to us. And men don't really have alot of healthy support systems like women. At least women can go and cry on their friends share, and get the pain out in a healthy stable way. Men sometimes aren't as lucky, we really can't cry or breakdown to other men, because we don't want to be look at as weak. And most men are just going to tell you to forget that Chick, "women are like buses, a new one comes every 15 min"! And i wouldn't call that great advice would you.  So the best thing for you to do as a woman, is  not just say your sorry, because men aren't women, words don't mean much to us. Men judge woman by what you do for us, or what you don't do for us. So show your man that your sorry, and if he doesn't forgive you then you did the best you could move on.



WHAT HAPPENS WHEN DUDES GET STUCK IN THE COMMITMENT ISSUE. I UNDERSTAND THE GUY HAS ISSUE WITH HIS EX (THAT HE WAS WITH FOR 3 1/2 YRS), BUT I DONT THINK I SHOULD HAVE TO PAY FOR THEM. ITS LIKE WE DO EVERYTHING BOYFRIENDS & GIRLFRIENDS DUE BUT WE DONT HAVE THE TITLE. BUT I TALK TO HIM OVER 3 HOURS EVERYDAY FOR THE LAST 4 MONTHS YET HE SAYS HE DOESN'T WANT TO MAKE ME HIS GF/WOMEN UNTIL HE DONE WITH SCHOOL BECAUSE HE LEARNED HIS LEASON OF TRYING TO BALANCE A GIRLFRIEND WHILE IN SCHOOL AND HE WASN'T ABLE TO PROVIDE ENOUGH ATTENTION TO HER?  

Committing to a woman is serious business to a man it's a decision that shouldn't be taken lightly. It seems to me that this guy got burned before from his last girl, so he is having a hard time trusting any woman at this point in his life. When a man has been through hell with a woman, that's all we see with any woman sometimes, its the same process when a man dogs a woman out, women go through that all men are dogs spell. But when you been with anyone for that long period of time, then you shouldn't rush to get with anyone. You should take the time to clean out the baggage that was left over from the previous relationship. This guy is being surprisingly honest with you, by telling you that he doesn't want to be in a commitment with you, and it seems to me that your trying to force the issue to the point were now he is trying to let you down easy without hurting your feelings. I don't want to make you my girl until after school basically means in a more blunt gut wrenching way "Leave me the hell alone, I don't want you!" ANd if you are already doing what a girlfriend does without him officially naming u his girl, then why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free ya dig! I suggest you leave dude alone, while he still kind of respects you!


WHAT HAPPENS/ WHAT DOES IT MEAN WHEN DUDES START TO CHANGE. WHEN DUDES TRY TO GET THE GIRL THEY GO THROUGH THE FULL WORKS AND THE EXTREME. BUT IT SEEMS LIKE ONCE THEY THINK THEY GOT YOU THEY STOP THE LETTERS, THE FLOWERS , THE ADDITIONAL CAKING ? THE ONLY THING I KNOW THAT WORKS IS TO FALL BACK TO WAIT FOR THEM TO STEP IT UP???? OR SHOULD I BRING IT UP AND LET THEM KNOW YOU SLACKING ON THE JOB???

Dude hasn't change he is just settling into his natural self now, the honeymoon is over! LOL j/k  MEn are going to go all out, when they are trying to get with you, they are going to send you the flowers, buy you the candy, write you the poems. But now that he feels he has you were he wants you then he is no longer in chase mode, now he is in i got you mode. And it doesn't mean that he loves you less, it just means that you have to remind him that he is slacking a little. Communication is the key in all relationships. If you Fall back and wait , then you will be waiting until when is the next major holiday? LOL But when he does do something nice for you stroke his ego a little bit, act extra excited, men love to feel like what they are doing is appreciated. Even if he opens up a pickle jar for you, say "Thank you baby, o your so strong, i just love my strong man" Dudes eat that up, so he will be rushing to the kitchen to open up that jar next time! Men are ego driven, and we love doing things we feel we good at. But once we feel its not appreciated, then you will slowly see it come to a end!

That's all the question for today folks, I swear yall women are keeping me busy! LOL I like it though! I still have a few questions left but i might just answer those through my statuses! We'll see! I hope this is a blessing to somebody, and feel free to leave your comments, and if you disagree definitely leave a comment, i love hearing other people's point of view.